Alone at Sea: my thoughts about the subjects rised in the Fandom Discourse™

ambrena:

• “Mutual abuse” doesn’t mean nothing. Abuse = imbalance of power, in this precise case at the favor of Jasper, therefore an abusor (her ”Just say yes” in JailBreak is a way to pressure Lapis Lazuli into a fusion, and consent given under pressure isn’t consent at all). The adequate expression here is “mutually toxic”: as Garnet analysed this relationship, “They’re really bad for each other” (Jailbreak).
• That doesn’t imply that Lapis isn’t dangerous (she is) but please don’t say she’s “not a blameless victim”. It’s a – very awkward and out-of-place – victim blaming. Nobody deserves to be a victim. As Lapis said herself, she “broke Greg’s leg, stole the ocean” (Alone at Sea referring to Ocean Gem), even tried to drown Connie and Steven… but these were desperate acts, as she was trying to escape. This is not related to her being abused by Jasper. Dissociate those two facts.
• However, her behavior towards Jasper was indeed terrible, as she trapped her into Malachite, hurt her and enjoyed that, but she aknowledges that it wasn’t healthy, feels guilty, and tries to change (”I was terrible to you. I liked taking everything out on you. I needed to. I hated you. It was bad!”). She also self blames herself, which is a typical abuse survivor coping technic (”After what I did to Jasper…” in Same Old World), even if she wasn’t the one to initiate this horrible relationship. And she actually acted wrong at this moment, but at least she wants to move on.
• Jasper, on the other hand, pressured her into this monstruous fusion of “hatred and distrust” (as described by Garnet in Chille Tid) which was a quite obvious metaphor for rape and/or abuse, admits she has been stalking her (“
  I thought I’d never catch up to you”, “I’ve been following you“ in Alone at Sea) and always physically coerces her by violently grabing her arm, clasping her hands around her or making intimitading moves towards her.
• Don’t fall for Jasper’s gaslighting, victim blaming and honeymoon phase strategy. It’s clearly written and narratively coded as manipulative and abusive tactics. We’re supposed to understand that her actions are deeply nasty.
• In any case, I’m horrified when some people of the fandom write things like “Jasper called her a monster and Lapis answered nothing, so it must be true!” Lapis already self blames her, because she’s aware of her unhealthy behaviour, and also because it’s a typical victim coping technic (”I’m terrible” in Alone at Sea = an inconscious way to justify what happened, given that she sees herself as someone unworthy). But Jasper uses this culpability – justified or not – to force her back into their previous fusion, which was a mess. It’s not okay.
• That’s why Lapis Lazuli answering “No” is so important. Consent is vital. Rejecting unhealthy relationships, even when you do miss them (because yes, it’s a thing – that doesn’t mean that the relationship was great), is capital.
• That’s, basically, what the Crewniverse is trying to teach us. “It’s very important to me that we speak to kids about consent. That we
  speak to kids about identity. There’s so much more I have to say about
  this.” (Rebecca Sugar, at the San Diego Comic Con, 2016).