You’re more than just dysphoria and a target of transphobia (img source)
I’ve got thoughts about this myself…
Well, for good or for ill, I was raised in an Irish Catholic home, and I grew up watching people play a game called, “Who’s hurting the most?” The way the game is played is that someone complains about how bad they’ve got it and then someone else says, “That’s nothing! Look what I have to deal with!”
The game continues when another player tries to top the previous complaint. There is no end to the game and there’s never a winner (although the game generates a great number of losers!), there’s no empathy, no satisfaction and no hope that anything will ever get better.
Not for anyone.
Strangely, I recall that it was a very popular game; it probably still is; but, these days, I take every opportunity to avoid it. I know for certain that, back in the day, folks played it every chance they had.
I never understood why the game was so popular with my family and I’m having trouble understanding why it’s gaining popularity with trans folk (and throughout the LGBTQ community). The game sucks! How am I the only one to notice??
Come on people! Suffering isn’t a competitive sport. Suffering is something we try to relieve, try to get rid of. If we’re good people, we look for ways to alleviate other people’s suffering and we’re grateful when someone else tries to diminish ours.
Personally, gender dysphoria has been an ongoing source of agony for me for as long as I can remember (and my memories kick in around 1958 — and yet, in all that time, my mammories haven’t kicked in at all!)
I have hurts. I have frustrations. I have rejections and fears. I have chronic depression; but I have no interest in playing “Who’s hurting the most” with you or anyone. In fact, I’ve found it best to try to set my pains aside and show the world my most attractive and likeable self. I find that it’s the best way for me to get through life.
I’m here on tumblr to find friendship and guidance and support. You should know that I really like exchanging laughs and exchanging fun; but if you’re interested in telling me I don’t hurt enough to qualify as queer…
…maybe I don’t care enough about you to pay attention to what you have to say!
Joy/Paul
Key and Teeth 